STRUCTURE OF EARTH
-you should maybe add some info about the 4 layers just a little bit instead of just listing them
-and maybe capitalize the names of the layers
CRUST
-I think you should add a little bit more info
-and check your capitals and punctuation i found a couple of mistakes in your writing
MANTLE
-you need to capitalize the names of the layers you haven't done that so far and all your capitals in general
-and maybe add some more info
-and maybe some spell checking in all the sections
OUTER CORE
-spelling is one thing
-and capitals
INNER CORE
-capitals and spelling
-and more info you barely have info
but over all good job just check your spelling and puncuation
Reply
Winnie the poo
12/14/2011 12:56:03 pm
Great job I just learned lots from your website but the only thing you need to work on that I can see is your grammar like "(and itprotecs)" but I only saw about maybe two more grammer problems other than that awesome lob. :)
Reply
Mickey Mouse
12/15/2011 01:37:26 am
Hi!
Crust- You need way more information and you need to make your sentences longer because they are very short and you have to put more descriptive words to describe the topic because if theirs a person learning about the crust and their reading your section about the crust they wont get that much information and they wont understand it so good.
Mantle- After you type out your hole section of your mantle you should always skim threw it because than if you have like a grammar problem in your sentence you can fix it like you put the word (it with protects) and again you have to put way more information and try to not start a sentence with a word (and) try to use like word when or other words.
Outer Core- Again try to get more information and remember to not start a sentence with the word (And). And the rest is mostly like all of the other sections
Inner Core-For your inner core you have to put way more information and always try to revise when you are done your paragraph.
But good job! ☺
Reply
Katniss
12/15/2011 01:53:45 am
The Structure of The Earth:
This page looks nice and clean but i suggest to make it look nicer you take out the link to the picture and put it in your bibliography.I suggest you add more info on what it is!
Crust:
This page has a good amount of info but it has a image that is to small to read the text that is in it, so I suggest you make the image bigger or you can add subtext below the image. Also look through the text book again to get more information out of it.
Mantle:
If you add a couple more sentences it would make it look nicer then it is and you would get more marks for research then you could make the text smaller! You could make your sentences longer and it wold run much more smoothly. Remember try to make this site viewer friendly!
Core:
For the video put text beside it that says at witch time if the video it shows witch time the part of the video shows the core! Fix the error with the small text that says:
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